WHAT YOU SAY

You may not realize it but the content of your speech informs others about who you are and where you are in your journey called “life”.

Our spontaneous choice of words divulges our state of mind and how we perceive where we are in life. I have learned to become an observer and a student.

I had occasion to be at my brother’s workshop on a Saturday, a day in which they do not work. A gentleman who had been repairing his vehicle on the pavement walked into my brother’s premises and was asked how we could be of assistance. The answer was simply “Ngifuna ku geza tandla”- I want to wash my hands.

I was shocked at his choice of words since that was not his place of employment nor his property. A polite being would have chosen the words “Could I please wash my hands”. My brother did not blink and I admired the calmness with which he pointed and directed the gentleman to where he could wash his hands. Upon washing his hands, the man walked out. There was no thank you. Yes, he could have been frustrated by the fact that he had encountered a breakdown on the vehicle, but for his choice of words, things could have become very different.

Opportunities are everywhere but one has to be sufficiently conscious to seize the opportunities as and when they arise for that moment does not last forever. Many use the excuse “English is not my first language”. Become aware, most of us had to learn English because it propelled us to where we now are. English is an international language that in this day and age dominates the internet. If you can think of “polite words” you will utter them in any language.

I enquired from my brother why he had not informed the gentleman that it was polite to request instead of demand. My brother said, “Do not ever stoop to their level, that would define you. You would be no different to them. You would just become as frustrated as they are. When people have not been taught manners, don’t you try to teach them. They will instantly become hostile and confrontational for instead of learning, such people immediately think you are trying to belittle them. They would never believe you are merely teaching them the correct manner of speaking”. I had to learn that lesson, it is not important to explain anything to anyone nor to teach anyone anything.

As I returned from my jog, a kombi conductor opened the back door and invited a lady to board the public transport. She chose the words “Suka” and opened the door to the front and sat next to the driver. The word “suka!” to me denotes someone who lacks etiquette, finesse, and a proper upbringing. I do not even use the term on my dogs! (The terminology used is SiSwati or Zulu – the traditional languages of Eswatini and Zululand)

This is a term which in English would mean, “Get away from me” duly accompanied by a wave of the hand thus demeaning the person being addressed. My humble opinion of this person is an unhappy, irritable, and impatient person who tends to blame everybody and somebody for where they are in life instead of taking responsibility for their past choices, which have now led to their current life. If they could learn to do whatever they can daily to progress and if they could remain consistent in their actions, their lives would most certainly change. We have to become someone who takes the challenges life brings and turns them into opportunities. Courtesy and politeness cost nothing and it makes for a much happier life. If only miserable people would recognize, happiness is a choice created by the words we use for people respond to words.

Since learning to stay in the moment I have awakened to the realization that there are numerous opportunities that surround us daily. One just has to expect the best to happen and it will. Help always comes from those we least expect. Had the Gentleman been polite, perhaps my Brother would have even enquired on what the problem on the vehicle was, and he could have sorted the same out at no cost. However, his choice of words left him unassisted. One can be happy and the lack of money need not be a setback. When one has changed their mindset and has gladly accepted the situation they find themselves in and if one takes the first step, help inevitably arrives.

However, so many are so focused on feeling irritable instead of looking at the so-called “mishap” as an opportunity to learn, or they recall the occurrences of yesterday or fear tomorrow that they miss out on what they could achieve now, today. As you are in your thoughts, what words do you choose when you think? What emotions do you feel? Do you choose words that create stress, unhappiness, and lack, or, do you choose words that make you feel abundant, happy, and calm? I have also found that when I use vulgar language or hear it, I tend to become nasty. We divulge so much about ourselves by our choice of words.

You can wear the top-of-the-range labeled clothes or drive the fanciest cars but if your vocabulary is negative, your attitude will automatically block your progress and you may even find yourself being ignored and not being appreciated. Few can admire pompous or ill-mannered people.

Although we have to celebrate our uniqueness, choose carefully the image you elect to project for that will portray exactly who you truly are. As we are all work in progress the next time you find people unresponsive, use different words to get what you desire, after all, it is your life. You have a choice.

Thank you for stopping by to read my Blog.

I share because I care.

Love always, kisses, hugs