CELEBRATING WOMEN’S MONTH
And so South Africa has designated August Women’s Month. It is a month where Women should be celebrated. In my humble opinion to be able to “appreciate” a woman one must understand her in totality.
I have personally found that the majority of Swazi men are “ignorant” with regard to “the basics” in a woman. This is a result of “everything” being kept a secret and men being “separated” from tasks that are considered “normal” in other societies. It appears there is very little if any communication in most Swazi homesteads. I can only write about my personal experiences.
Having been married to a South African of German descent it was not uncommon for me to place on the “shopping list” be it tampons or sanitary pads for me to utilize during my menstrual cycle. My husband found nothing wrong in shopping for these and even in placing them in the appropriate cupboard in the house. Previous boyfriends also knew periods to be something “normal.”
We had turns in carrying out mundane practices such as awakening at night to bottle feed or change our baby. Washing and drying dishes was something we did together and it was then that we shared anecdotes. It was also a continuation of the discussion we had had at the dinner table and this permitted us to better understand where we each were at that time in our lives. We became so fine-tuned into each other that he knew when I was irritated due to work pressure and he would always be more affectionate and understanding during such times. He also knew exactly when my menstrual cycle was due and therefore would understand why I was lethargic and less willing to participate in any physical activities such as socializing at the club, playing tennis, horse-riding, or even going boating at the dam.
I had occasion to be extremely busy renovating my property which I was preparing to rent out when after washing the clothes an urgent call came in which required my personal presence elsewhere. As a male “friend” was assisting me with the renovations and was staying in one of my houses on the property, I asked him to please hang up the washing. You should have seen his discomfort and jumpiness upon my return. The first thing he vocalized was “I saw different things today.” I instantly knew he was speaking about my underwear which he had to hang up. I personally saw nothing wrong in him hanging those up as they were clean was like any other washing. I had to inform him that in my past experiences and in my association with people of other nationalities, hanging up someone’s underwear was considered normal by all other nationalities.
Indeed, in most countries in Africa, it is male helpers who do the washing, ironing, and even the packing of clothes into wardrobes. I personally found his comments surprising and saw the need to write this article so as to “educate” our Swazi men. In my household as I suffered from severe hemorrhaging which resulted in me later in life being diagnosed with cervical cancer, it was normal for one of my brothers to remain with me during my menstrual cycle and to take care of me. Indeed my employers because I could faint during those times, often stated I should remain at home when menstruating.
The irritability comes as a result of the lower abdomen and back pain one experiences and one becomes “very sensitive” during such days. I say this because something that would not normally upset one upsets one during those days which comments can lead to a meltdown. Tears are never too far away and a harsh word can bring them forth.
Inconsiderate comments from ignorant men can be demeaning to one, especially since if it were not for women there would be no men in the world. Respect is always appreciated. If this were a taboo topic in the world, Scotland would not be the first country to make sanitary pads and tampons free. This is something that was passed by their Parliament. How’s that for a first-world country? Perhaps this will “educate” numerous backward nations in the world!
I share because I care.
Love always, kisses, hugs
